We can all agree that family is important, especially if you come from a generous, loving, open minded family. Yet there is only one kind of love that can bring about world equality and that is a love of humanity, or as the Greeks called it “philanthropy”.
It is thought that in today’s economy, some of the wealthiest, most powerful families in the world are responsible for most of the mass exploitation of workers, human suffering and mass world consumerism that is slowly bringing about the end of humanity; as we burn, drill and consume our natural environment, so as to manufacture more products and extract more resources from our earth for our spoilt, material hungry children.
Such family dynasties as the current Trump family, or family Bush, the Aznar family, the British Royal family, the Kim Jong Un family, the Johnson and Johnson family and the Bin Laden family to name but a few.
Indeed, the old excuse of “I would do anything for my family” or “I would do anything for my children” seems like the perfect excuse to exploit and abuse other company workers; in fact it is almost like a “carte blanche” to do as one wishes, in the name of protecting one’s family against an often imaginary outside threat. Ironically, however it is that same family which is the real threat to greater society.
This narrow, blinkered view of only including one’s own family in the equation and not looking out to the wider community is what makes concepts of philanthropy almost impossible, as it brings about a tribal mentality of them against us.
It is the same game of identity politics that exists today and indeed has always existed between regions and nations, from barbaric tribal civilizations to the current status quo. The aim of the game, is to encourage family driven greed and consumerism on an industrial scale.
Especially and ironically around Christmas which is when greed and concumerism among families is at its highest, as spending money on a relative becomes a substitute for real love, instead of something as simple as a hug and a kiss which multinational companies have not yet monopolized in monetary terms. But give them time.
So how can we encourage families to be less greedy? Education is one answer but there also needs to be a more fundamental change.
Another aspect that drags humanity down, is an over emphasis on biological connections, by giving preferential treatment to those who share a genetical likeness i.e. he is my (biological) brother, sister, mother, father, rather than emotional connections which require more time and effort to create and maintian.
Becoming someone’s friend or partner requires a lot more effort to gain that person’s trust, as in all friendships you start out as complete strangers, rather than it just being by biological default.
Historically, Royal families and Monarchs were so distrustful of strangers or outsiders, that it lead to incest, as they only trusted those who were of the same blood line, yet science and Charles Darwin has taught us about the kinds of physical deformities that are caused by such immoral sexual practices; it has actually been scientifically proven that the the greater the differences between a man and a woman, the healthier the child will become as he or she inherets a balance from both parents.
From conversations I have had over the decades with individuals and their circumstances, there has often but of course not always been a common theme of emotional family abuse.
There are a range definitions of what could be termed as abuse, and it is less often physical but is in fact in most cases emotional these days.
My definition of abuse regarding the dynamic of family or friend relationships is simple. We forgive and tolerate 10 times more abuse, when it comes to our family than with a friendship.
We forgive all kinds of selfishness and greed if it is a biological relative such as a son, daughter, sibling or parent, yet if the same circumstances were applied to a friend or partner we would simply walk away and look for a new friend or get a divorce.
The reason we forgive a relative in spite of their behaviour being emotionally damaging, is sadly only down to this “biological connection” of sharing a similar genetic sequence, which to me seems almost like a neanderthal way of thinking, and the main cause for tribal societies; which in the worst case scenario leads to racism and a whole host of other prejudices and separatist mindsets on a greater national scale (Scottish independence, Brexit, Catalan independence, religious wars …. but I digress).
However, it is not all “doom and gloom” as we can very easily overcome such issues. The simple rule of thumb, is to treat your family by holding them to the same high standards that you expect from a good friend and not overlooking systemic abusive behaviour simply because of a physical, genetical similarity.
As the saying goes “friends are the family you choose”. Yet I would like to go even further as I think we have to reach out even further to those people who at present are still strangers or as we ought to look at it “potential friends”.
I would like to point out that this is a continuous journey, and I myself am still very prone to making mistakes as the fallible being that I am.
The final and most important step of all would be for the laws surrounding child adoption to be made easier for those parents, gay, lesbian or heterosexual who wish to adopt.
It is my belief that, the greatest act of love is to raise a child who has no biological connection to ourselves, as raising a child by yourself or with a partner, with limited time and resources is one of the most exhausting, challenging goals life can present us with; and if we add this to the fact that you are sacrificing all your time and energy for a child that you did not biologically give birth to nor have any physical, superficial resemblance, in my humble opinion this is proof of real emotional and intelectual human advancement.