Show me a beautiful man or woman and I will show you a man or woman who is bored of “trying” to make love to them. The reason I say “trying” is that it is always difficult to make love to someone who suffers from narcissism, as rather than being turned on by you, a narcissist is in fact turned on by the effect their beauty has on you. That is to say, while you make love to them, in their own heads they are sexually excited by the effect their beauty has on you, in other words they are making love to themselves.
In today’s Instagram world in which people exchange sexy photos whilst having the most inane conversations, congratulating each other on how beautiful they look “You look so hot!” ….. “No, you look sexier!” …… “No you are so dope!” ….”No you are much cooler!” ….”You are so beautiful”
Images play a greater role in communication, be it a simplistic lowbrow form of communication, as the written word becomes more and more obsolete.
Writing a real message to others requires time and effort, whereas taking a selfie can be done within seconds with little or no effort. This is leading to younger and older generations losing their communicative skills as they are only capable of having shallow, inane, trivial conversations, making it almost impossible to connect with another human being on a deeper more intimate level. The minute someone tries to have a “real” conversation the listener feels awkward and does not know how to respond.
When it comes to relationships, todays generation wrongly equate having sex to really knowing the person in depth, when as a matter of fact you have barely scratched the surface in terms of getting to know the inner universe that makes a person a human being. But once again, that requires, time and some sacrifice, which a large section of society today is not willing to invest in, but instead would rather simply move along to the next distraccion.
The real question everybody should be asking themselves is “What can I offer another person in a relationship?” rather than “What can he or she provide me with?”
Being brave is not about going skydiving, surfing or taking up extreme sports but rather it is about being emotionally vulnerable in front of another person, with the risk of that other person not being interested or even being rejected. But the person who matures emotionally, is in fact the person who has the strength to bare their soul and bounce back … not the person who hides their feelings to remain cool and distant.
If I may be a little twee, I woud like to use a quote from a popular movie which I think expresses this opinion better than I can muster:
(A monologue by Robin Williams taken from “Good Will Hunting”)
“So if I asked you about art, you’d probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life’s work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I’ll bet you can’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You’ve never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you’d probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can’t tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You’re a tough kid. And I’d ask you about war, you’d probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, “once more unto the breach dear friends.” But you’ve never been near one. You’ve never held your best friend’s head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I’d ask you about love, you’d probably quote me a sonnet. But you’ve never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn’t know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms “visiting hours” don’t apply to you. You don’t know about real loss, ’cause it only occurs when you’ve loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much.